So You Have Feathers AND Fins?
by Nixxx852
Summary: Brittany understands that Kurt's new friend is a Warbler. But he's a dolphin too? How does that work... how does a dolphin have sex with a bird? And, who better to ask than Blaine himself?


As you all know, some horrible stuff happened in Japan. So, for those of you who are religiously inclined, keep them in your prayers, alright? Anyway, the place where I live was given a tsunami warning. I had to evacuate to higher ground and while I was waiting for the updates, I decided to fill this prompt that I came across. It's just my attempt at humor to lighten the mood. I wrote this out on my phone; I hope its alright.

**Original prompt:**

"So you have fins AND feather?"

Brittany understands that Kurt's new friend (Blair? Blame? She's really not good at names...) is a Warbler. But he's a dolphin too? How does that work... how does a dolphin have sex with a bird?

So she asks Blaine. How a dolphin has sex with a bird. Because she wants to know how he was made.

-.-.-.-

"You aren't going to pull out your gavel and smack me with it, are you?" Jeff teased, causing the boys around him to laugh. Kurt laughed along with the Warblers while Wes glared at them. There was a hint of a smile on his face, though.

"No wonder you left McKinley." Kurt's head spun around when he heard that familiar voice. He immediately spotted Santana standing behind him with her arms crossed over her chest and a smirk on her lips. "I'd transfer too if I could be surrounded by all these studs in uniform."

Kurt rolled his eyes when Santana winked at a few of the boys. He saw a few of them grinning up at her. "What are you doing here?"

'Here' was a diner about half an hour from Dalton. Because regionals were so soon, Wes had decided that they should get together and practice on the weekends. He also insisted that they keep their uniforms on so he could make sure that when they practiced their choreography, he could make sure that it was all aesthetically pleasing to the audience. No one understood him, but dared not to argue with him. After practice, they all decided to get some lunch together.

"This place makes the best apple pie," Santana shrugged.

"So you drove for over an hour by yourself just to get pie?" Kurt asked dubiously.

"Of course not," Santana scoffed. "Brittany's here, too. But she spotted that mechanical pony ride outside and she decided to be an animal rights activist and is currently trying to set it free."

"I should go check on her," Kurt stood up from his seat. He saw a few of the Warblers giving him confused looks, but he ignored them. "Otherwise, she'll be out there all day."

"I'll be right here," Santana took the seat Kurt had previously occupied and turned her attention to Blaine. Kurt gave his friend a sympathetic smile and made his way outside. He could see Brittany through the diner's glass doors. She currently had her arms wrapped around the white pony's neck and was tugging at it furiously.

Blaine thanked the waiter who put down his plate of fries in front of him. He saw Kurt's grilled chicken and directed the waiter to set it down in front of Santana. After a few seconds of talking to him, Santana had turned her attention to Wes and Jeff, who had been seated across from him and Kurt. Santana was fiddling with Wes's tie and was making a bunch of flirtatious remarks. Blaine repressed the urge to roll his eyes while he watched Wes respond to her flirting.

"Are you sure?" Blaine heard a soft voice ask behind him. He turned around and saw Kurt approaching them with a tall blonde.

"I'm sure," Kurt smiled at the taller girl. "That pony isn't being taken advantage of or overworked. He loves children. He gives them rides because it's fun for the kid and its exercise for him so he doesn't get too fat; with that arrangement, everyone wins."

Blaine's eyebrows rose slightly when Kurt said all of that in a rather serious voice. What was he talking about? Kurt and the blonde approached the table. Kurt pulled over two more chairs. Santana stood up and went to sit beside Wes. Kurt went back to his original seat next to Blaine, and Brittany sat down across from Santana and right next to Kurt.

"So, Hummel," Santana turned her attention to Kurt. "How many of these gorgeous prep boys have you tapped already?"

"Santana!" Pink tinted Kurt's pale cheeks and Blaine couldn't help but notice that Kurt looked cute when he blushed. "Just because they go to an all boys' school doesn't mean they're gay."

"I'm definitely not gay," Wes clarified. Santana gave him a flirtatious smile.

"I thought they were garblers," Brittany spoke up.

"Warblers, Britt," Kurt answered with a gentle smile pointed at the blonde. "They're the Warblers."

"Why don't they have feathers then?" Blaine, and a few other Warblers, turned to Kurt and gave him questioning looks. Kurt only gave them a small smile and a shrug as a reply.

"I'm gay, though," Blaine added conversationally. This seemed to catch Brittany's attention because she leaned forward so she can look past Kurt.

"You're a dolphin like Kurt?" Blaine had no idea how to answer her question. He thought she was just making a joke or something, but she looked at him earnestly and waited for an answer.

"Um," Blaine turned to Kurt, using his eyes to convey how he had no idea how to answer.

"Yes he is Brittany," Kurt answered for him. This only caused Blaine to get even more confused. What was a dolphin? Was this some weird slang that they used at Kurt's old school?

"It means he's gay," Blaine looked up when he heard Santana answering something Wes had asked her. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to make sense of this. So dolphin was another way of saying that you're gay? He's never heard that before.

"But, I thought he was a Warbler?" Brittany spoke up again.

"He is," Kurt answered. Blaine saw a look of confusion on the blonde's face before she leaned close to Kurt and whispered in his ear. Blaine saw amusement shining in Kurt's eyes before the younger boy nodded and turned to Blaine.

"Brittany wants to ask you a few questions." Kurt told him.

"Sure," Blaine nodded, though he still had no idea what was going on. He saw a few of the other guys give him curious looks, but most of them had gone into their own conversations. Kurt stood up and switched seats with Brittany.

"Brittany, this is Blaine. Blaine, this is Britt. She has a few questions for you."

Brittany gave him a shy smile and Blaine returned it with a charming smile of his own. "Hi, Brittany."

"Hi, Blair," Brittany even gave him a small smile. Blaine heard a soft snort of amusement come from Kurt.

"It's Blaine." Blaine corrected Brittany politely.

"Are you really a dolphin?" She asked in a soft airy voice.

"If you're asking if I'm gay, then yes, I'm a dolphin." The smile was still on his face. He wasn't sure how to deal with the blonde in front of him. He saw Kurt give him an encouraging smile.

"And you're a Warbler, too?" Brittany's eyes widened slightly and she sounded...awed; Blaine couldn't describe her tone in any other way.

"That's right," Blaine nodded. "I was singing lead for the Warblers during sectionals if you remember."

"I don't," Brittany replied quickly.

"Er," Blaine smiled uncomfortably. He was starting to feel award with Brittany staring intently at him.

"How did that happen?" Brittany asked suddenly.

"How did what happen?"

"How are you a dolphin _and_ a Warbler?" The girl sounded amazed and Blaine had no idea what to make of it.

"I just…am?" Blaine answered awkwardly. He looked to Kurt, who only gave him an amused smile before turning back to his food. He looked to Wes and Santana, but they were both too busy with each other to pay much attention to him. He turned to his other side, but David was having a discussion about some basketball game with Thad and Nick.

"So you have feathers _and_ fins?"

"I suppose so." Blaine answered. He heard a snort of laughter coming from Kurt. He also noticed a few of the other guys giving him and Brittany amused looks.

"How do a fish and a bird have sex?" Brittany, who seemed oblivious to all the amused looks she was getting, kept all her attention on Blaine.

"Excuse me?"

"If dolphins can't fly and birds can't swim, how do they do it?" Brittany asked.

"I…" Blaine looked to Kurt for help.

"Huh, that's a good question," Kurt grinned up at Blaine. "I don't know the answer to that."

"Does the bird get water wings so they can do it in the water?"Brittany looked at Blaine intently as she waited for her answer.

"Um," Blaine looked flustered. "I don't think dolphins and birds _can_ have sex."

"But then how were you made?" Brittany looked at Blaine with wide eyes and a disbelieving tone in her voice.

"I…what?" The polite smile left his face and he stared at the girl beside him incredulously.

"If you're a warbler and a dolphin, then that means you're half bird and half dolphin. The only way that can happen is if a dolphin has sex with a bird." Brittany said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Blaine opened his mouth to say anything but had no idea what to say so he closed it. He did that a few more times; it was a perfect imitation of the fish out of water face.

"So," Brittany turned her attention back to Blaine."How do they do it?"

Blaine glanced over her shoulder at Kurt. But, he only smiled at him and gestured for him to answer the girl. Blaine gave him a look that clearly asked how he could possibly do that. Kurt only shrugged and mouthed a 'make something up' to him.

"Well," Blaine said slowly. Brittany looked at him attentively. "The bird flies down and lands on the ground, then he goes and gets as close to the water as they can. Then, he'll go in as deep as his legs will allow. And the dolphin comes and meets him there…"

"But, how do they _do_ it? Don't they have different parts?"

"Well, you see, they, uh," Blaine searched around the room, trying to come up with an answer.

"Hey, Brittany," Kurt, who's eyes danced with amusement, "You came here for pie, right?"

"Oh yeah, the apple pie!" Santana turned her attention away from Wes. "I almost forgot."

"Want to split one?" Wes asked her. "My treat."

"Come on, boo," Kurt stood up and held his hand out to the blonde. "I'll go get you some pie."

"Yay!" Brittany clapped her hands excitedly and followed Kurt to the counter to get some pie.

"What was that?" Blaine asked as he watched the blonde skip off after Kurt.

"That's Brittany," Santana said as if those two words explained everything. "Come on, Wes, let's go get some pie."

-.-.-.-

_I suck at humor. XS well, that's my try at this. Hope it wasn't __**too**__ bad. Let me know what you think :D_  
_I also added the Wes/Santana bit because after the last episode, she needs some lovin'. I do, however, ship Wavid/Wevid (However its spelled). Too bad there aren't many stories out there featuring that. Or at least, I can't find many o.O_

_So, the warning was lifted for us. We apparently got a couple waves a meter in height hit us, but we're all fine, thankfully. But, take some time to think about those who were less fortunate. My heart goes out to all those in Japan, and to anyone else affected by this._


End file.
